Idle hands are the Devils playground.
the clock, it taunts me.
I shouldnt be left alone with these thoughts.
Foul & vile.
The stench of my past sours my stomach.
My eyes are heavy, but i know sleep wont come.
I sit and pick the skin from my fingernails,
i pick till they are raw and bleed.
I watch the blood form and clot.
Silence can be deafening.
Its piercing, i want to scream.
the love of my life is sicky. her little lungs are swollen inwards due to pneumonia and a bile infection in her chest. the sounds of her heavy breaths and whimpering cries send tears to my eyes. if i could, i would trade places with her to spare her from whatever pain she is feeling. it breaks my heart to see her like this. any positive thoughts, energies, and prayers for my little lilah are gratefully appreciated by my family and myself.
meet the love of my life. this little slice of heaven is lilah presley (yes, as in elvis). is she not the cutest little peanut you've ever seen?! i can't wait until she's grown up enough to can appreciate manipedis, shopping sprees on daddy's tab, and a delicious fruit tart from walter's in downtown claremont... so... in about 2 years. literally, i thought i was spoiled... but i didn't land a 21 year old sister who makes bank like this little one is lucky enough to have. surprisingly enough, i've already changed a couple of dirty diapers and i was the first person that she puked on... lucky me. when i held her for the first time, i cried. actual tears. which, for the past couple of years have not been happening. lame enough that i have a heart. awesome enough that it all belongs to this little princess.
IT KIND OF SUCKS WHEN YOU SET UP ALL OF THESE GOALS FOR YOURSELF, AND THEN YOU REALIZE THAT YOU WILL BE SPENDING ALL OF YOUR PAYCHECKS FOR THE NEXT FOUR PAY PERIODS ON PARKING TICKETS AND SPEEDING TICKETS.
AND ONCE THAT'S DONE, YOU HAVE TO SPEND ALL OF YOUR MONEY ON REPAYING YOUR STUDENT LOANS. TO A SCHOOL YOU DON'T EVEN LOVE.
"wine is constant proof that god loves us and loves to see us happy"
back tracking a little, 4th of july weekend 2010, i was awakened at an ungodly hour from an all night adventure in san diego to attend a wine class for work. in the class, when i wasn't focused on my bagel and coffee, i listened to one of our alcohol reps discuss different types of wine and how to properly serve and taste. granted that we all left this class slightly buzzed, i feel like that window to this love affair was definitely opened.
for a while, i forgot about about that beautiful creature and carried on with my usual lovers. stella, don julio, goose, the captain... always so good to me. i felt as though i would never need anything else. and then, my mother and her husband invited chardonnay to dinner. she was soft and sweet. very polite and smooth. but, she left me wanting more. cue thanksgiving. there she was again. this time, we carried on together a bit more. she sent me into this feeling of comfort. i was falling in love.
before i knew it, it was a norm in my life. sangria, reisling, merlot, shiraz... they all loved me. and i loved them. so here i am, in this 4 month long relationship with vino. we spend nearly every evening together. whether it's on my shag carpet with the black keys, on a big bed with a boy in san diego, out to dinner with friends... i promise to never leave her. i'm thinking of proposing on valentine's day. i would love for you to make it to the wedding.