I'm In Love

"wine is constant proof that god loves us and loves to see us happy"

-benjamin franklin

back tracking a little, 4th of july weekend 2010, i was awakened at an ungodly hour from an all night adventure in san diego to attend a wine class for work. in the class, when i wasn't focused on my bagel and coffee, i listened to one of our alcohol reps discuss different types of wine and how to properly serve and taste. granted that we all left this class slightly buzzed, i feel like that window to this love affair was definitely opened.

for a while, i forgot about about that beautiful creature and carried on with my usual lovers. stella, don julio, goose, the captain... always so good to me. i felt as though i would never need anything else. and then, my mother and her husband invited chardonnay to dinner. she was soft and sweet. very polite and smooth. but, she left me wanting more. cue thanksgiving. there she was again. this time, we carried on together a bit more. she sent me into this feeling of comfort. i was falling in love.

before i knew it, it was a norm in my life. sangria, reisling, merlot, shiraz... they all loved me. and i loved them. so here i am, in this 4 month long relationship with vino. we spend nearly every evening together. whether it's on my shag carpet with the black keys, on a big bed with a boy in san diego, out to dinner with friends... i promise to never leave her. i'm thinking of proposing on valentine's day. i would love for you to make it to the wedding.

A-ha Moment

Do you ever have one of those amazing moments of realization??  A sudden instant of clarity?

I was washing my face this morning when an A-ha moment struck me like a bolt of lightening.  For the first time in my life, I realized my purpose.  The destiny that I am meant to create for myself finally became clear.  I rinsed the suds of my face as quickly as I could and rushed to tell my boyfriend the news.  I couldn't BBM my parents fast enough about it, either.  I can honestly say that I have never felt more confident about something in my life (although I will be keeping the exact details to myself for now, since it's still in the whole early-development stage).

The coolest part about all of this though, isn't just that I was able to reach that awesome epiphany, but how I was able to get to that point.

My life is really good right now (I have a good job that pays me well, a loving family, an amazing boyfriend), but I have been feeling a bit lost.  While most of the kids I went to high school with are graduating and going on to start their careers and embrace their talents, I'm still trying to figure out what it is I'm actually good at.  Let me rephrase that... I'm kind of good at a lot of things; I'm still trying to figure out what I'm GIFTED at.  My attempts to pursue these little things that I'm "okay" at always end in either boredom or disappointment.   A few days ago, I woke up one morning feeling more lost and sad about my future than ever.  I got out of bed and set up my alter and did a little impromptu ritual for clarity and guidance.  I poured all of my sadness, my frustration, my anger, my disappointment into it.  It was amazingly therapeutic and I felt like the weight of my discontent had been lifted off of my chest immediately.


So, with that moment of clarity this morning also came a moment of satisfaction: the realization that a ritual that I performed in perfect love and perfect trust was successful.


Such a beautiful thing.